How to Be More Confident in Bed
The question of how to be more confident in bed has been on people’s minds for too many years to count. It is a question that often stays resting in the mind – with people too nervous to talk to anyone about this particular issue. Confidence in bed is an issue that affects men, women and people from all across the spectrum of gender and sexuality. We don’t want this to be a taboo anymore – so we’re offering a little help to anyone wondering how to be more confident in bed. Everyone has the desire for intimacy, companionship and the deepest of connections. We’re pleased to be trusted enough to offer that connection… as well as a little advice. Read on for some confidence tips to truly make the magic happen in the bedroom.
Confidence is a funny old thing. It is somehow ever present and enigmatic at the same time. It can be applied to many aspects of anyone’s life… yet still manages to be strangely elusive. Whether it’s in having the courage and self belief to speak up in a meeting at work, making eye contact in the street or trying something bold in the bedroom, we continually strive for confidence as it’s such a powerful asset. When it comes to the bedroom, we have a number of tips to help you feel more confident with your intimate partner. Another thing that is particularly good about having confidence in bed, is that this confidence can be carried into other aspects of life… you’ll see.
How to Feel Sexually Confident
The primary issue of feeling sexually confident and coming out of your shell really has nothing to do with the person you’re in bed with. It starts with you. Below we offer some tips on changing your life by finding and keeping this confidence.
Acknowledge The Things You Like About Yourself
When it comes to intimacy, it is often the little things that count the most. Everyone has the obvious things they wish they could change about themselves. Some people want things bigger… others want certain things to be smaller. This is part of the shared human experience. So we advise not worrying about the things you can’t change and focusing on the things you, or your partner, would never want to change about you. Society tells us far too much to think about the things we would improve or fix- and the bedroom is no place for these thoughts! Whether it’s your skin, hair, hands or toes… remember the parts you like and accentuate them.
Establish Trust With Your Sexual Partner
This is pretty important. Establishing trust in the bedroom can take some time or can be instantaneous depending on the people involved. The recipe for trust involves all kinds of things. Chemistry, familiarity and little bit of experimentation too. Ensuring you trust your partner is pretty essential to feeling and being more confident in bed. A lot of this trust building takes part before bed time. See if you can do any relationship building before getting intimate. Maybe go on a date if applicable. Maybe be sure you can engage in both non-sexual and dirty talk. This comfort helps in building trust with your person. And remember it is perfectly okay to only do the things you feel comfortable doing. Your partner should be happy with your limits as well as your desires.
Says Yes to Yourself
Saying yes to yourself generally in life goes a long way to being confident in bed. We have found that a lot of insecurity around sex comes from people telling themselves “no” far too much. Whether it’s in telling yourself you’re not good enough, or telling yourself you’re unreasonable for feeling the way you feel and wanting the things you want. Remember that as long as things are consensual, and you have established the aforementioned trust and connection, trust yourself enough and say yes. Say yes to your mind, your body and to your desires too. You’ll thank yourself later – as will your partner. Being confident in what you want is sexy too. Think about that.
Get In The Mood With A Little Music
Music is great in almost every situation. When it comes to confidence in bed, finding the right music at the right volume can be a real gamechanger. Look for something sensual and chill to relax and get rid of any nervousness, or choose something rhythmic and sexy to really turn you and your partner on. Music is really great for getting out of your own head, getting lost in the moment, and really appreciating the time you’re having. As well as being great for rhythmic coordination, research has suggested that pairing music with sex affects three parts of the brain – the pleasure and reward system, the bonding system and the limbic system which processes emotions. We don’t want to argue with science.
Wear Something Sexy or Nothing At All
There are people who have been married for years and still prefer to keep some clothes on…there are absolute strangers who are happy to whip it off without a second thought. Both of these are okay – as long as what you’re wearing or not wearing is conducive to you enjoying yourself and enjoying your partner too. If you’re wearing clothes, definitely wear something that makes you feel special and/or sexy. If you’re wearing nothing, especially if you’re wearing nothing for the first time, remember to tell yourself how damn good your body is. And remind yourself that your partner has chosen to spend this time with you – so you’re definitely incredible. Think about that over and over again to enjoy your special time in the bedroom even more.
Find Confidence By Doing What You Like in Bed
The possibilities are endless when it comes to finding things you like in bed. Whether it’s in the things you want to do, wear, say or hear – there’s a huge selection of things to keep in your repertoire. Find and maintain confidence by doing things you know and love in bed, whether with a partner you know or with a brand new lover. Keeping things familiar can result in a kind of confidence that just can’t be mistaken. Feeling like a pro in bed is important – so don’t be afraid to play it by the books if you wish.
Find Even More Confidence By Trying Something New
When you feel ready and confident in yourself and in bed – try something new between the sheets. Again, trust is important for this one. You’ll want a partner you feel you can try something for the first time with. Maybe they’ll be the expert and be holding your hand and guiding you through this new adventure. Or potentially, you’ll be trying something new together. If the time is right to try something different, go ahead. One day you could be teaching somebody a new trick yourself.
Confidence in Bed
Confidence in bed, and in life, can be a long and tumultuous journey. But we know that they can really go hand in hand. Empowering yourself in the bedroom using our tips can lead to empowerment at home and at work. Applying our tips in the right way to your everyday will make such a difference. So start wherever you feel comfortable to begin growing confidence in bed. Instead of wearing something super sexy to bed, take it slow and wear something a little seductive to the club, or wear something form fitting to work. When listening to music outside the bedroom, don’t be afraid to sing and dance apologetically. Most importantly, tell yourself something you like about yourself every single day. Confidence is a process – and again, it starts with you.